Friendshipable

30: How do I deal with adult mean girls?

February 25, 2022 Terri + Manya Season 2 Episode 8
Friendshipable
30: How do I deal with adult mean girls?
Show Notes

It is human to be aggressive, no matter the gender, but that doesn't mean it's any fun to be on the receiving end of that aggression. This can come from friends, friends of friends, and colleagues. The aim of the person doing the bullying is to make someone look bad. That can take the form of cyberbullying, gossiping, intimidation, or ostracizing.  We also talk about some workplace bullying that we've been on the receiving end of.

"The same attributes that allow girls to be socially intelligent also allow them to be aggressive. They are drawing from the same skill set." - Rachel Simmons

Sometimes these bullying experiences happen in front of others, who may themselves be afraid to step up out of fear of becoming the next victim. 

Some ways to deal, though it does not always feel simple. The key is to recognize what you cannot control in the encounter.

  • Pretend you didn't hear: Excuse me, can you repeat that?
  • Ask for clarification: I don't understand, what do you mean?
  • Walk away and disengage
  • Keep responses polite, while standing up for yourself.



Resources we discuss:
When the ‘mean girl’ is a woman: How to deal with an adult bully, By Cathy Alter
How to Deal With Mean Girls in Adulthood, by  Sherri Gordon
Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, by Rachel Simmons

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