30: How do I deal with adult mean girls? Artwork

Friendshipable

A podcast about friendship. Friendshipable--having the power, skill, means, or opportunity to have the emotions or conduct of friends or to create the state of being friends. Terri + Manya (co-founders of Project BFF) have conversations and interviews about friends, friendships, and friendship-adjacent topics.

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Friendshipable

30: How do I deal with adult mean girls?

February 25, 2022 • Terri + Manya • Season 2 • Episode 8

It is human to be aggressive, no matter the gender, but that doesn't mean it's any fun to be on the receiving end of that aggression. This can come from friends, friends of friends, and colleagues. The aim of the person doing the bullying is to make someone look bad. That can take the form of cyberbullying, gossiping, intimidation, or ostracizing. We also talk about some workplace bullying that we've been on the receiving end of.

"The same attributes that allow girls to be socially intelligent also allow them to be aggressive. They are drawing from the same skill set." - Rachel Simmons

Sometimes these bullying experiences happen in front of others, who may themselves be afraid to step up out of fear of becoming the next victim.

Some ways to deal, though it does not always feel simple. The key is to recognize what you cannot control in the encounter.

Pretend you didn't hear: Excuse me, can you repeat that?
Ask for clarification: I don't understand, what do you mean?
Walk away and disengage
Keep responses polite, while standing up for yourself.

Resources we discuss:
When the ‘mean girl’ is a woman: How to deal with an adult bully, By Cathy Alter
How to Deal With Mean Girls in Adulthood, by Sherri Gordon
Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, by Rachel Simmons

#BeAFriend

*****
Thank you for listening.

After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to shut down Project BFF and the podcast. Our last podcast episode aired on August 23, 2024. We are leaving the podcast live on Buzzsprout through the end of 2024.

We are proud of this podcast and honored to have hosted such amazing and engaging guests.

Our hope is that Project BFF and Friendshipable have inspired you to form new friendships, strengthen existing ones, and encourage others to do the same

Thank you for being a part of our story. The two of us have truly deepened our friendship during this time, and we look forward to new and memorable adventures together in and around New England, which serves as the adopted home for both of us.

With gratitude and friendship,
Manya and Terri

To contact us, you can email Manya at manya@alley424.com